Not ALL 80s rock. I don't dig on Stryker, but I like a lot of it. Why? Because they wailed on guitars. Yes, they all were androgynous as shit, but as long as you kick out some gnarly licks, we'll deal with the fact you look like a chick. In fact, one of my biggest grudges against Nirvana was that they turned everyone SO against glam rock that everyone stopped doing solos, and rock turned sort of lifeless (as a side note, let's ignore the fact that I LOVED every other band from the grunge era).
Well, in MY opinion, a light burst from the clouds in ought-three, in the form of The Darkness, a British quartet steeped in falsetto vocals and guitars that are, like, double guitars. And, yes, I know I'm the only one who likes this band. But I liked them because they brought fun back into rock. Guilty pleasure? Probably. Sounded eerily like Boston at times? Most certainly. But without rock 'n roll, it's just sex and drugs. And THOSE aren't any fun if you can't do air guitar simultaneously.
Well nowadays, everyone seems to be taking the "Rock Star Solo 101" class at community college, because turning on 93x will generally land you a few decent solos pretty quickly. Now that The Darkness are either in seclusion or defunct, my new guilt is EndeverafteR, which is basically what Motley Crue would be if they intercoursed with Fallout Boy (that SOUNDS a lot worse than it is). Anyway, they're playing at the Rock tomorrow night, and I'll probably go, get my air guitar on, and keep my fingers crossed that they cover "Round and Round."
In honor of wicked chops that make girls get naked and make out with each other, I offer you my top ten favorite guitarists of all-time. And please note that I said favorite, not best (though most of them are). So all you Stevie Ray Vaughn, Joe Satriani, and Dream Theatre fans, please: listen to people that sold more than 70 albums and don't wear stupid hats.
Here they are, from ten to one. Click on the guitarist's name to re-route to an evidentiary YouTube clip.
10: Mike McCready, Pearl Jam (I saw them in St. Paul in 2003) -- This is based heavily upon their live work, as most PJ albums since 1998 have been...um...suspect. But when he jams on a cover like "Rockin' in the Free World" or "Baba O'Riley" at the end of a show...or "Alive" or "Evenflow"...well, that's pretty good Squishee. McCready is my generation's Neil Young. Non-radio recommended listening: "Red Mosquito"
9: David Gilmour, Pink Floyd (I've never seen them, but Brandon did) -- I know, Pink Floyd wasn't exactly party music, unless you actually ATE those mushrooms. But nevertheless, Gilmour's work was magical. And I probably would have had to burn all of my music if I didn't acknowledge the man who created...nay, gave musical BIRTH to..."Comfortably Numb." Non-radio recommended listening: "Sorrow"
8: Synster Gates, Avenged Sevenfold (I saw them a month ago at Roy Wilkins) -- Why? Because I need somebody on this list from THIS century. Oh, and he's a great guitarist in that "I feel like listening to speed metal, but not Metallica" sort of way. I see great things in the future for AX7. You probably disagree with me. But try and pick out at least two of my top seven who's styles you note when you hear the clip. And try to tell me Gates isn't pretty damn good at it. Non-radio recommended listening: "Eternal Rest"
7: Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins (saw them twice, in 1996 & 2007) -- From the age of 14 to 18, the Smashing Pumpkins were pretty much unquestionably my favorite band. SP was the first stadium show I ever went to in 1996, and Corgan broke out the old twelve-minute mash-up of about six different songs, presented in wonderous sonic-y goodness. At that point, I realize it was my life's duty to...um...write a blog about it 12 years later. Yeah. Ask Dad; he was there, too. Non-radio recommended listening: "Quiet"
6: Kirk Hammett, Metallica (twice also, 2000 & 2003) -- Metallica holds a special place in my heart, despite all their recent suckiness, because I pilfered the Minnesota Valley Regional Library of it's copy of "And Justice for All" in 1989. Thank God they didn't have my credit card on file. I really enjoy the wah pedal, and Hammett used it to great success. And here's the thing: pretty much every metal guitarist is freaking UNREAL, but nobody over the age of 18 or gainfully employed at a good wage likes metal, so it gets tossed to the side as trivia. Well...(Peter Griffin voice) Stop it. STOP. Metal up your proverbial ass. Non-radio recommended listening: "Dyer's Eve"
5. Tony Iommi, Black Sabbath (I saw Sabbath the same day the Vikings DIDN'T lose to the Falcons to go to the Super Bowl. It didn't happen, it didnt' happen..) -- Iommi gets massive points for being one of the pioneers in the metal genre, and the fact that he cut off the tips of TWO of his fingers while working at a sheet metal factory. What did he do? Made thimbles for the nubs and kept playing. One of the first to do the "I'm not going to play a standard tuned guitar" thing, because everyone likes their hard rock sludgy. Non-radio recommended listening: "Fairies Wear Boots"
4. Eddie Van Halen, Van Halen -- Van Halen's "1984" was the first album that my dad owned that I actually recognized at the age of five (with all those other no-name albums he owned like "Physical Graffiti" and "Dark Side of the Moon"). Does a lot of the VH success need to be credited to David Lee Roth? Of course, but Eddie was doing things on a guitar (specifically, tapping) that hadn't been done on mainstream radio before. Oh, being an MTV pioneer prolly didn't hurt his cause, either. Or playing the solo in "Beat It". Non-radio recommended listening: "Take Your Whiskey Home"
3. Saul Hudson, Guns 'n Roses -- You may know him as Slash. In my opinion, his reputation has been somewhat sullied by the whole Velvet Revolver experiment (amazing how members of two great bands can form a bad one; please refer to Audioslave). But you can't discount his GNR work, nor the fact that he wrote the greatest song of all-time (Sweet Child o' Mine) as a joke. Along with Van Halen, I would say he is the biggest influence upon the new crop of hard rock guitar-god wannabes. Non-radio recommended listening: "Locomotive"
2. Jimmy Page, Led Zeppelin -- I really have no words for him, he's SOOO good. The Double Geetar. The Violin Bow. The "Lord of the Rings" references. Eight albums in ten years with Zepp, not to mention his work with the Yardbirds. He and his work on Zeppelin have been so influential in my musical upbringing, that I did this last February:
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So, yeah, I guess the guitarist that started the band that became the inspiration for something that's never going to not be on my body is probably pretty high up on my guitarists list. Non-radio recommended listening: "The Rover"And that leaves us at number one.
It's probably an anticlimactic foregone conclusion for you that know me, but let's build some suspense, just for shits and giggles.
Wait for it...
And my favorite guitarist of all-time is...Jimi Hendrix.
Duh.
But "WHY", say you? Let's examine.
1. He's one of the few guys in rock history who's so-called "Greatest Hits" would be in the second tier of my favorite songs by him, because his whole albums were SO FUCKING GOOD. You really need to sit down for 75 minutes and soak all of it in to comprehend the genius.
2. He was doing things with a guitar, technically and sonically, that would still be cool today...and he's been dead for 37 YEARS.
3. He's got the accompanying songs to two of my favorite cinematic moments ("Voodoo Chile" in "Blackhawk Down" as they're coptering in to Mogadishu, and "Foxy Lady" in "Wayne's World as Garth does his strut up to the waitress).
4. At least three other bands on this list alone have covered his songs in concert.
5. He made a Bob Dylan song cool ("All Along the Watchtower").
6. He made the "Star-Spangled Banner" cool.
7. He didn't play his guitar. He played it with his teeth. Literally. He MADE LOVE TO IT. Metaphorically. Then, he lit it on fire. Literally.
8. He respected where guitar came from, as evidenced by the posthumous "Blues" release.
9. He wasn't afraid to do anything on a guitar. Sometimes it didn't work out, but it almost always did. He was fearless. He was the greatest improviser the guitar has ever known, and an artist in the truest sense of the word.
So there you are. They rock out with their cock out. And you should, too. Enjoy the weekend.
